Long-Distance Relationship Challenges and Lessons
What does it take to make a long-distance relationship work?
How much are you willing to give to bridge the distance?
In this modern time, maintaining relationships can be challenging. The idea of monogamy is sometimes ignored as modern society and the “millennial way of thinking” has begun to blur the line that separates the idea of being in a relationship from that of being single.
Those who choose to maintain a conventional relationship have to deal with the pressure and challenges. After all, no relationship is completely spared from conflicts especially in this age of technology and social media. So in this case, if we add in the factor of long-distance, the challenge intensifies even more.
If you’re wondering about the potentials of long-distance relationships, you’ve come exactly to the right place. This site is where we can explore this subject as we try to determine the most crucial factors that have a major impact on such a challenging setup.
By all means, long-distance relationships are possible to maintain and can be outright successful just as long as you and your partner agree to make it work in the best way you can.
But before you even try to consider it, you must first be certain that both of you are ready to face the challenge and are willing to give your entire commitment.
ut before you even try to consider it, you must first be certain that both of you are ready to face the challenge and are willing to give your entire commitment.
My Personal Recount on Long-Distance Relationship
You might be wondering what gives me the authority to explore the topic of a long-distance relationship when in reality, everything is easier said than done – especially for someone who has no first-hand experience on it.
For starters, I’ve been in a long-distance relationship for over 2 years now. I live and work in Miami while my girlfriend, Lara, is in the Philippines. We’re separated by 9,379 miles of distance and 12 hours of time difference. We’ve search multiple times using Miami properties search but weren’t ready for this step so that’s how we started our long-distance relationship
The Initial Bliss
Lara was introduced to me by a co-worker who happens to be her friend from the Philippines. They grew up in the same provincial hometown. She was set to attend a wedding in Miami and to meet up with some close friends during her 2-week vacation in the city. I was lucky enough to be introduced to her when I ran into them by chance at a coffee shop.
We sat together, had a fun conversation and in a spur of the moment, I casually asked if I could see her again. The question may have come as a surprise but what was even more surprising was that she actually said “yes”. And the rest is history as they say.
The Dating Game
For more than 2 years before meeting Lara, I’ve been into all kinds of online dating without much success. I’ve tried dating apps like Tinder and Zoosk, I’ve called the singles chat lines and had several phone dates with different female callers and I’ve even paid for an online dating site. All those months, I’ve been playing around and engaging in various forms of adult entertainment and having erotic conversations that eventually lead to phone sex. I never thought that I would meet someone in the most random and unexpected way.
Taking the Chance
I once heard a friend say that “when you fall for someone, you fall hard, and sometimes, you fall in a painful way.” That much was certain for me and it somehow made sense.
Lara would soon be going back home and there was no guarantee that we’d ever see each other again or even manage to keep in touch. I knew that she had a life of her own. Still, I didn’t want her to be just a part of my social media account or to become just one of my contacts. I knew I wanted more.
Before Lara left, I promised that I would keep in touch and our connection won’t end along with her short vacation. At that point, I was willing to take a chance on her no matter how difficult.
From my perspective, it took me years to find someone like Lara and no amount of distance should stop me from pursuing her. I felt that if I’ll let the opportunity slide, I might regret it later on so I might just as well take the risk.
When Reality Sets In: The Challenges of Long-Distance Relationship
Being in a long-distance relationship is not easy. It takes more than just willpower and a magnanimous amount of mind-conditioning to make it work. It also demands a lot of positivity and the willingness to make the most out of what we can manage to do for each other.
The Lessons We’ve Learned
One thing I learned about our situation is that Lara and I cannot make a lot of demands from each other. We have to simplify our relationship and manage our expectations the best way we can.
We also have to learn how to make compromises in order to avoid having serious arguments. Eventually, we agreed on one thing; we should not put too much pressure on our relationship and on each other because it’s already difficult enough as it is.
Trust is the main element of any long-distance relationship as my friends would say. This means that I have to trust Lara and she has to trust me in return. It’s the least we could do.
Lara also has this principle that even couples who are spending a lot of time together cannot always guarantee that one of them would not cheat. A man who has an intention to cheat will always find a way even if he’s tied around the waist of his partner. But if a man has no intention to cheat at all, he will stay faithful even if they’re thousands of miles apart from each other.
Battling Against Our Differences
Distance and time difference wasn’t the only issues that Lara and I had to face. We also had to deal with our cultural differences and sometimes, our communication barrier. I was born and raised in Miami while Lara spent her whole life in the Philippines.
Her upbringing, familial culture, and beliefs differ a lot from mine. She also has a different way of expressing herself which I sometimes find hard to understand. And the same goes for my case; she often misinterprets my words, actions, and gestures.
Lara and I may be compatible in so many aspects, but the weight of our situation can sometimes be too much to handle. One of us is either exhausted or busy whenever we talk due to the time difference.
Her daytime is my night time and her nighttime is actually my daytime – and that’s something that we had to deal with.
Still, after more than 2 years of trying to work out our relationship in this cycle and with only 2 visits to Lara in the Philippines, we’re still together. And I believe that we’re stronger than ever. In fact, we can actually visualize a life together in the near future.
And every single day that passes is also a constant reminder to us that we’re another day closer to that moment when we can finally wake up in the same time zone and right beside each other at last, and there’ll be no more goodbyes for us.